Transformation

I wanted to make sure that I created a post today. I'm going back to Tulsa tomorrow where my apartment is to pack up what I can fit in my car and sell everything else. I've been staying in Louisville for a couple of months now looking for new opportunities with my Fiance. If you've read my recent posts you know I have found an unbelievable opportunity for not only myself but also my Fiance. Jobs for both of us and a place to live rolled up into one situation. IT'S A MIRACLE!!!

I needed to write today because I believe we've already had our internet turned off at our apartment, so I'm not sure when I will have the chance to write again in the near future.

I wanted to share my recent experiences with A Course in Miracles before I left. I've actually already wrote about them in the form of emails to Lisa and a response to something she posted on her blog Gorgeous for God. To save time I'll just copy and post those messages here.

Here is an email message from May 21:

I just wanted to tell you about my experience with lesson 71 yesterday. Yesterday morning I did the first longer practice of the day, the part when you ask God what would you have me do, where would you have me go, what would you have me say.

I got an answer! It was very clear and undeniable. Interesting though, that the answer wasn't exactly in words or images but like an idea given to me. Some of it was a voice but not a specific voice. Not exactly mine and not unfamiliar. It said that being hurt is what I am afraid of and so I stay guarded and not really giving or receiving. It said to love people. Tell them you love them and give everything. This part was not spoken word for word, but more of an idea instantly received. Then I asked, "I can tell people I love them, but I might not really mean it. How do I mean it?" I didn't finish asking this question when it was answered. This part was word for word. It said, "Love the Light. Say 'I love you' to the light." And then implied, do not love the body, it's not who they are.

Then I waited for a moment in case there was anything more and then I heard, "read Corinthians 3:5".

So, then I opened the Bible and remembered there are two Corinthians, 1st and 2nd. So, I just went to 1st Corinthians 3:5. I had to read the rest of 3 to get the whole idea. It was really great. It talked about how God gives the increase and we are the Temple of God and He dwells within us, the wisdom of the world is foolish and all things are for us. Then I read 2 Corinthians 3:5 and it was perfect. It says, "Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God." To me, that verse was what lesson 71 was saying, "God's plan for salvation will work". And it talks about how the ego looks outside of itself for salvation, that only if this person acted this certain way, or if this situation was different, I would be happy.

Anyway, I spent much of yesterday studying 1st and 2nd Corinthians. Much of what it says is what lessons 70, 71 and 72 are talking about.

The following is the response I left to one of Lisa's blog posts, "You who are now the bringer of salvation have the function of bringing light to darkness."

Thank you Lisa for posting this. Last week I was struggling with stillness. couldn’t get past my thoughts and be with God, reacting a lot and feeling annoyed. Not wanting to accept my current situation of having loose ends to tie up in Tulsa but not being able to go there and not having my own space yet in Louisville. I was feeling increasingly frustrated and feeling like things weren’t working out for me. I started to go into the darkness and old thoughts about who I am started to come up like, there’s something wrong with me and I’m flawed somehow and not entitled to happiness. Crazy, right!

Well, one morning a couple of days ago, I woke up and thought that maybe I should just quit doing the lessons. But immediately I thought, NO!!! No specific thought behind that but just a feeling of urgency, like I am not going to waste anymore time, why not awaken right now. I haven’t got the time to waste. I do, more than anything, wish to understand.

So, today I’ve been in a state of gratitude. I am so thankful for these last few months in which it seems that there was a space created in my life, where I have the opportunity to spend most of my time focused on these lessons and on awakening, reflection and on God, without being distracted by a job and plans and schedules and meaningless activities. I realize what a gift this situation has been. I have no reason or excuse to not make time for God.

It’s like an intermission period in my life and the next scene is transformation. The light is shining away the past to make room for God’s presence!!!

Thank you for shining your light and being here for me and so many others.
With much love and gratitude.

p.s. I finally have the opportunity to go to Tulsa Thursday. I’m going to sell all my stuff and just take what will fit in the car. I’ll come back with very little baggage and whole lot more light.