An Experiment for Truth

Okay, I get it now. I don't know anything.

I've been on the review lessons of A Course in Miracles for three days now and last night I read chapter 14, "Teaching For Truth." It's all becoming clear to me. I really don't know anything! What I see, think and feel is not reality so it doesn't mean anything and so it is nothing. This is because my thoughts are from the past which I'm bringing into the present which, as a result, I judge what I see based on what has happened in the past, so my feelings about what I see or experience are from the past as well. The past does not exist so what I see is not really what is there, because I'm seeing the past, which doesn't exist.

I could keep going in a circle with this thought all day, but I won't. So, my attention is never truly in the present. My attention is either in the past, worrying about the future or somewhere in Never Never Land.

You would think I would be all depressed over this, (which I kind of had my ups and downs when I originally did these lessons) but I'm not. This is what I read in Chapter 14 last night:

"Those who remember always that they know nothing, and who have become willing to learn everything, will learn it. But whenever they trust themselves, they will not learn. They have destroyed their motivation for learning by thinking they already know. Think not you understand anything until you pass the test of perfect peace, for peace and understanding go together and never can be found alone. (This is the test of perfect peace, found earlier in the section, "If you are wholly free of fear of any kind, and if all those who meet or even think of you share in your perfect peace, then you can be sure that you have learned God's lesson, and not your own." Yeah... I haven't passed that test... yet.) Each brings the other with it, for it is the law of God they be not separate. They are cause and effect, each to the other, so where one is absent the other cannot be."

Jesus says in the Bible to be like children. In Matthew, chapter 18 it says that the disciples asked Jesus, "Who is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?" Jesus called a child to him and said to the disciples, "I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as to little children, ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Whosoever, therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven."

This is why I'm not depressed, because I'm realizing that I don't know anything. I am more than happy and entirely willing to learn everything, so Jesus says I will learn it. If you have been around children you know they ask a lot of questions and they are not afraid to ask. They ask because they don't know and they aren't ashamed to not know. They learn very quickly at an early age because they don't have their egos holding them back. They want to know everything. Period. And Jesus says this is how to enter the "Kingdom of Heaven" - be like a child, realizing you know nothing and become willing to learn everything.

So I've come to the conclusion that what is true and real is "NOW", the present moment, and what is eternal, unchanging and everlasting which is found in the present. The present is all that is real.

This is what I'm going to do. This is my little experiment for today. Today, all day and as often as I remember, I will have my attention in the moment with my mind still. I will go through my day as if I started watching a movie in the middle that I've never seen before and don't know anything about. I don't know what's going on and I don't know what to expect. I don't know who the people are or what they're doing, going to do or what they're thinking or what they might say. I'm not going to try to figure things out. I'm just going to watch and see and be.

Like a little child, everything will be exciting and new.

This is going to be great because I'm meeting someone new today. I usually get really nervous about meeting people, because I bring the past with me. Some thought or feeling from the past of an unpleasant meeting with someone new. Today, I won't do that.

I've actually already started this experiment today. I took my sweet, little Beagle to the backyard to play. I sat down and just watched and listened. It was funny as soon as I brought my attention to the present, the clouds parted to let the sun shine. I thought, "let there be light!" Then I laughed to myself and then I thought, "I'm not supposed to be thinking." Ooooh. This is going to be harder than I thought. I brought my attention back to the moment and all the sounds of nature got louder. Everything became crisp. Kind of like those allergy medicine commercials, where everything is hazy, but you don't really notice anything was hazy until things become clear.

I'm hoping, that by doing this exercise, I can find the place of peace, contentment, invulnerability and guiltlessness within in me. If even for a moment.

I'll let you know how it goes. I'm not expecting anything though.