My experiment yesterday of being in the moment with a still mind throughout the day was a process of realizing I wasn't in the moment and my mind was racing and then bringing my attention back to seeing what is really taking place in the moment. It was an enlightening experience.
This experiment really brought to my awareness the effects of my thoughts. One of my review lessons today is "I have no neutral thoughts". These are the related comments to the idea of the lesson:
"Neutral thoughts are impossible because all thoughts have power. They will either make a false world or lead me to the real one. But thoughts cannot be without effects. As the world I see arises from my thinking errors, so will the real world rise before my eyes as I let my errors be corrected. My thoughts cannot be neither true nor false. They must be one or the other. What I see shows me which they are."
I need to back up a little to explain what was going on in my life yesterday. So, I've been getting to know a woman who is interested in hiring me to be her nanny/personal assistant/keeper of the schedules of the household/member along with my Fiance of an intentional community she wants to create. Yesterday, I met her husband and oldest son, which was the last step in the process. I'm pretty confident and certain that the position is ours. She's never come right out and said, "you're hired", but we've discussed when we will be moving in. And after meeting her husband, we babysat her children while they went out for a few hours.
Getting to know, and caring for, her children was where I could really see the effects of my thoughts or quiet mind. At the times I expected certain negative behaviors from the children or was uncertain with what to do, I directly saw the behavior I expected and the effects of my uncertainty. If I was a push-over, they would push me over.
When I finally came to the present, it was effortless. I would say, "put your jammies on" and they would. Before when I asked, "will you put your jammies on?" already expecting they are not going to want to go to bed - of course they would resist. I expected they wouldn't want to go to be because of experiences I've had with other children in the past who didn't want to go to bed. I was making the children I'm with in the present the same as the ones in the past. What I noticed when I brought my attention to the present, these children were sleepy and needed to go to bed.
My mind changed immediately, in the moment. What had to be done, had to be now, not later or if they want to. When I said, "time for stories, the sun has gone down" they got in bed for stories. One even said as soon as she laid down and got comfortable, "I'm already feeling sleepy." After a few books, I said "okay, I'm going to turn out the lights now so you can sleep." No wining, no arguing. I turned out the light and they went to sleep.
What I saw with my experiment yesterday is that the children directly experienced the effects of my thoughts. Another one of my review lessons is lesson 19. "I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts. I am alone in nothing. Everything I think or say or do teaches all the universe. A Son of God cannot think or speak or act in vain. He cannot be alone in anything. It is therefore in my power to change every mind along with mine, for mine is the power of God."
So, do I want to teach passivity, uncertainty or weakness. I know now, when I am uncertain and think I am weak, it wastes a lot of time and energy. Nothing is accomplished. I want to teach certainty, love, peace and joy and I'm noticing those are only in the mind which is present.
This experience was so positive for me. I'm going to continue to be mindful of where my mind is. A Course in Miracles says something like your real thoughts are those you think with God. I want to think with God, so I need to clear space in my mind to hear the thoughts of God. Right now, there are so many unnecessary thoughts in my mind. Much of the time the atmosphere of my mind is like a packed bar with a live band and twenty different conversations going on around me. I know though, that my mind can be quiet and full of the Peace of God. I have experienced moments of it, but I would like to stretch those moments out to eternity.
Eternity is only in the present moment. Reality is only in the present moment. The past and future do not exist.
Which brings me to the review of lesson 20: "I am determined to see. Recognizing the shared nature of my thoughts, I am determined to see. I would look upon the witnesses that show me the thinking of the world has been changed. I would behold the proof that what has been done through me has enabled love to replace fear, laughter to replace tears, and abundance to replace loss. I would look upon the real world, and let it teach me that my will and the Will of God are one."
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