Love Is All You Need

I'm on vacation right now in Kentucky. It's probably the longest vacation I've ever been on. We are here for 6 weeks. I've been finding it difficult to find time to write, with all the activity and visiting going on. I don't like to have any interruptions when I write, but I think I'm just going to have to deal with it for now.

This week with the lessons in A Course in Miracles I've been trying to see things differently - I'm not a victim of the world I see, I have invented the world I see and there is another way of looking at the world.

These lessons have been challenging for me. It's hard to believe entirely that I invented the world and that I'm not a victim, but I do believe there is another way of looking at the world. I'm trying to identify myself beyond my belief of my littleness. I've realized I've got this "damsel in distress" mentality. "Poor little ol' me. I can't fend for myself." (I say that with a southern belle accent). I quoted one of my three year old students the other day when John told me he wanted my help with yard work. I said, "I can't 'cause I'm little". I told him I liked that excuse.

Enough with the excuses, already! I really I don't want to identify myself anymore as being weak and helpless. Regardless of whether or not I believe the ideas in the lessons I've been experimenting with them and applying them to whatever goes on. I think I would have made a good scientist because I've never been afraid to experiment with something to find out if it works. (I've gotten a lot smarter over the years about what I experiment with since I was in college)

I had a very good opportunity yesterday to try out "I'm not a victim" and "I invented the world I see". My fiance was annoyed with me because he didn't think I was getting ready fast enough and he was getting impatient. He also had been sick. So, he was especially sensitive. I got frustrated with him and said something, not mean, but also not out of love and that really set him off. I didn't think what I said justified his response, but what could I do.

I left the room to get myself ready to go. I shut the door and paused to read some of the text in A Course in Miracles. What I read was so perfect to what was going on. While I was reading with the door closed he continued to vent his frustrations while pacing through the house getting things together. I was reading Chapter 12, part I called "The Judgement of the Holy Spirit". Here's what it says "Understand that you do not respond to anything directly, but to your interpretation of it. Your interpretation thus becomes the justification for the response. That is why analyzing the motives of others is hazardous to you. If you decide that someone is really trying to attack you or desert you or enslave you, you will respond as if he had actually done so, having made his error real to you. To interpret error is to give it power, and having done this you will overlook truth."

Meanwhile, my fiance is still ranting and raving. I'm thinking, "yeah, when I responded to his frustration with my own frustration I was feeling that I was being attacked and the situation was very real to me. But then I thought, "I'm not a victim because I invented this situation as I see it".

I kept reading, my fiance is still projecting anger all over the place. "There is but one interpretation of motivation that makes any sense. And because it is the Holy Spirit's judgment it requires no effort at all on your part. Every loving thought is true. Everything else is an appeal for healing and help, regardless of the form it takes. Can anyone be justified in responding with anger to a brother's plea for help? No response can be appropriate except the willingness to give it to him, for this and only this is what he is asking for. Offer him anything else, and you are assuming the right to attack his reality by interpreting it as you see it."

I asked the Holy Spirit to help me with this situation. I realized that he was frustrated with me because he needs help and I'm not giving it to him. I started thinking loving thoughts about him, the things I appreciate about him and how grateful I am to have him in my life, what I love about him, etc. I started to look at the situation differently. I realized when he was asking for help, I blew him off. Sure, the words he said sounded harsher than the words I used but regardless, neither one of us said loving words.

I thought, "I can end this right now, because I can take complete responsibility for it". I didn't even have to tell him this. I just did it. Then my fiance, right after saying something angry, asks in a neutral tone, "are my shoes in there?" Now because I had been thinking loving thoughts about him and took responsibility for the whole fiasco, I responded with love, "no, Baby, I don't see them in here".

And that was it! That was the end of the argument. I immediately started helping him get things together. Later, I gave him a hug and kiss and told him I love him and asked him if he still thought he had a fever. I just needed to show that I care and give love. We had no more conflicts for the rest of the day.

This love thing really works. All day today, at the first sign of any conflict, I've been saying, "there is another way of looking at this". Instead of attacking right back, I offer help. I look at the situation and think of what kind of help can I give. It has worked every time.