I Am Sustained by the Love of God and Other Miracles

I am sustained by the love of God. That is my lesson today, lesson 50. This is the most disciplined I have ever been. I have done one lesson a day for fifty days, with the exception of lesson 8 when I did it for two days. Whoops. I told Lisa (www.gorgeousforgod.com) about it and asked if that was okay. She told me to read the introduction to the lessons again. I realized it was not okay, so I've done my best to do one lesson a day exactly the way I'm instructed since then. I've been told if I do as the lessons instruct I will see miracles happen on a regular basis. And, I have.

These are the miracles I've seen:

1. Virtually no worry or stress
2. My relationship has improved. We rarely argue anymore. When we do, it's over pretty quickly.
3. I'm happier
4. My anxiety went away. I've been realizing there really is nothing to fear.
5. I've gotten several submissions already for the God stories book.
6. I've just gotten the best job I could've ever asked for. I never would have imagined I could get one job that includes everything I'm interested in and passionate about. But wait, there's more! The job doesn't just benefit myself, but also directly benefits my fiance. And hopefully, I can help many people through this job.
7. I've been understanding more and more the spiritual experiences I've had. Nearly every week I am awakened to the purpose and meaning of these experiences. Not because someone has explained things to me, but because I've found the answers within. I owe this to practicing and applying the lessons of A Course in Miracles.

I've just been having one "Aha" moment after another. Like today, for instance. I've been repeating the idea of todays lesson often, I am sustained by the love of God. My fiance and I were driving back over to his friends house where we are staying right now and I repeated the idea to myself. I looked around and noticed all of these nice cars, the people in the cars, and the nice, big houses we were driving by and I remembered something in the lesson.

It said, "In this world, you believe you are sustained by everything but God. Your faith is placed in the most trivial and insane symbols; pills, money, 'protective' clothing, influence, prestige, being liked, knowing the 'right' people, and an endless list of forms of nothingness that you endow with magical powers."
"All these things are your replacements for the Love of God. All these things are cherished to ensure a body identification. They are songs of praise to the ego. Do not put your faith in the worthless. It will not sustain you."

I felt sad that so many people put so much effort into worthless things that will not sustain them. I was sad that so many people do not know the love of God. At the moment I had those thoughts I remembered a time when I put so much effort into worthless things thinking they would make me happy. There was a time when I didn't know the love of God. Aha!!! Right then, I understood, to the full extent, an experience I had over 10 years ago. It was the defining moment in my life that led me to my spiritual path.

In my late teens and early twenties I experimented with drugs... a lot, and with a lot of drugs. My philosophy then was something like, "life is short so why not experience everything you can". Drugs made me feel "cool" and that I had "cool" friends and we were "different" and "misunderstood". We weren't about to conform to "societies rules and standards". I think, though, ultimately I was looking for the answers to life's big questions.

One day, just before my 22nd birthday, I did some LSD with my boyfriend at the time. We were coming down off the drug and of course depressed and in pain. We had been talking about the universe and physics (the other interest besides drugs we had in common) and I started to cry. He asked me what was wrong. I had a hard time trying to figure out how to put it into words. Finally, I burst out sobbing, "I just want to know!". That's all I told him. Specifically what I meant by that statement was, I want to know if God exists and why I'm here and what's the point. But, I didn't have the energy to say all of that. It was to the point that if I couldn't know the answers to those questions, I didn't want to live anymore. I'm not exaggerating. That was literally how I felt. I still start to feel emotional when I think of that day.

Soon after on my 22nd birthday, I was invited to a party. Let's just say, I did more drugs than I should of and had quite a wake-up call. I went unconscious and had the painful experience of losing everything and everyone I ever loved.

All of these things, "pills, money, 'protective' clothing, influence, prestige, being liked, knowing the 'right' people" I thought sustained me. I thought they were me. That is where the pain came from, thinking all these things were me. Identifying myself with everything that is false. I felt I was losing myself. What I was losing were all of my beloved illusions.

I "cherished" these things and it was painful to lose them. I had used all of these things as a replacements for the Love of God. It was if God was saying, "Wake up! These things mean nothing!" I didn't know who I was so when those things were taken away, I felt I had nothing.

There was quite a lot that happened while I was unconscious, I was shown many things. But ultimately, all I can describe is the essence of the knowledge I was given - All the choices I had ever made in all of eternity are the reason I am here now. I have everything I need, I had more important things to do and it's time to get on with it.

I did "get on with it". Almost immediately. Within two weeks, the things I felt so much pain in losing during my experience, I left. I left it all behind. I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing but I knew there was more in store for me.

By my 23rd birthday, within just one year, I had quit doing drugs for good, I had learned to meditate and had received in meditation the answers to those questions, does God exist, why am I here and what's the point. I described that meditation in my post, "Fear, Who Cares". With what I was given in that meditation, I knew without a doubt that God is real, he is Peace, Love and Joy and so am I.

I am sustained by the Love of God. This is such an incredible lesson. Just a moment ago my Fiance told me we might not go back home for awhile. He said with our current financial situation we can afford to pay our rent on our apartment and stay here with friends to save money then go back home, pack up our stuff and move here. Or, we can spend our rent money to go back home and get evicted. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!", I thought. "I want to go home!" What I said was, "let me think about that" and then went inside. But then I remembered, I am sustained by the Love of God. I just read the third paragraph of the lesson and it comforted me.

"Only the Love of God will protect you in all circumstances. It will lift you out of every trial, and raise you high above all the perceived dangers of this world into a climate of perfect peace and safety. It will transport you into a state of mind that nothing can threaten, nothing can disturb, and where nothing can intrude upon the eternal calm of the Son of God."

One of the reasons I want to go home, is because my stuff is there. But as soon as I had that thought I had another thought, "but the stuff doesn't matter." I can get more stuff. In fact, I've already gotten more stuff in the short time we've been away from home. Stuff doesn't sustain me. When has my bookshelf of books or that shirt I wished I packed ever sustained me or kept me alive? Never. I do miss my family, but I'm going to trust we will be guided through this and I'll get to see my family soon. I'll just pay attention to now for now instead of worrying about the future.

So, now I can file away that experience during my 22nd birthday. I understand it now and know what to do with it now. It's all the more reason to create the God stories book. I can share the Love of God with many, many more people through this book. I don't have to be sad to see people putting their effort towards meaningless things. Instead, I can be happy to know that when people read the God stories they will perhaps see that the Love of God is real and always there for them.

(Info on the God stories book is on the side bar on the left of this post towards the top of the page.)